By Connie Goodbread

How much high drama (as in emotional turmoil) happens in your congregation?How often does it happen? Is there a pattern to the drama? Does it stop the congregation from transition? Does it stop the congregation from growth? What kind of high drama is empowered and supported by the culture of the congregation?Too often we mistake drama for depth. Drama of feeling is not the same as depth of feeling. Drama is engaging and easy to fall victim to. It can and does come to us in many forms. It comes in the form of people trying to place the burden of their happiness on others or on the community. It comes in the form of people trying to hand others secrets disguised as confidences. It comes in the form of gossip and rumor mongering. It comes in the form of being highly offended by this, that or the other thing. It comes when we assume the motives of others without checking out our assumptions. It comes in the form of bad manners and behavior. It comes in the form of manipulation. It comes in the form of what I call “hitting us below the liberal belt��?. Example: congregational leadership sets a perfectly fair boundary and someone accuses them of not respecting the inherent worth and dignity of an individual because they will not allow that individual to continue engaging in hurtful or disruptive behavior.

The first principle of our Covenant, if misunderstood, can keep congregations from setting appropriate boundaries. If there are individuals in your congregation who consistently engage in any of the behavior listed above, and this is by no means a comprehensive list, they are out of covenant. They are not honoring the inherent worth and dignity of others or the community. Setting up and using safety polices that empower leadership to take the necessary steps to keep the members safe and in covenant will help the congregation to grow.We should not allow one individual to endanger another or the community. We should not tolerate violence or abuse of any kind. We should respect others and expect that others to respect us.We as individuals can choose to not be offended. We can refuse to participate in gossiping and rumor mongering. We can refuse to keep secrets while holding true confidences confidential. We can support and respect our leaders; they have a difficult and important job. We can allow them to lead. When we don’t like something, we can go directly to the person we have an issue with and/or follow proper procedure to make ourselves heard.Depth of feeling, relationship, intelligence, spirituality, experience, covenant and justice are what Unitarian Universalism is all about. Ours is anything but a shallow faith. To be a Unitarian Universalist is to live a life of adventure, respect, integrity and responsibility, open to all the possibilities. Ours is not an easy faith. Ours is not an easy spiritual discipline. Ours is a faith of depth.We have a finite amount of energy. It is a shame to waste it on the shallowness of drama when we could be swimming in the depths of being.Either you decide to stay in the shallow end of the pool or you go out in the ocean. – Christopher Reeve